Menopausal Survival

My family is ready to commit me.

I’ve been so emotional, bitchy, weepy… My emotions are ALL over the place!

For instance, tonight. Husband is making something new for dinner and I’m organizing my jewelry making things. He is making filled quesadillas, filled with something that resembles vomit. I’m instantly annoyed. I’m a HUGE visual person when it comes to food. If it looks funny/weird/different/gross, I’m bothered.  This looked down right NASTY.

I start grumping about it being soggy and gross. Then he serves me one that he’d made 10 minutes before. It’s got the consistency of road kill. Que meltdown. I’m sobbing and bitching at the same time. I threw the food…. Dogs had dinner. Next I’m laying in the bed sobbing gutwrenchingly. Youngest comes in and asks me why I’m crying so hard and I honestly can’t say why.

Then I’m hit with a hot flash that almost makes me pass out.

Loverly….

 

At least I know a reason I went full psycho on them.

 

I hate being a woman right now!

 

Good news: They survived.

This time….

Stupid Hormones

Well, I know, at least in part, what was wrong with me yesterday.

I started my period.

No real warnings except the massive sudden depression. I SERIOUSLY hate my body.

Last year my doctor welcomed me to menopause. I told him he was an ass. Luckily he’s a much older man and understands menopause and he’s been my doctor for ten plus years. He’s been wonderful but he’s retiring this year. Le sigh 😦

I’m 46. I wasn’t expecting menopause. It hit me like a freight train when he told me and I was depressed for a couple of weeks until my mother told me “well, at least you won’t have to worry about pads, tampons, stained underpants, sudden blossoms of red on your white pants and those damnable cramps!”

Now I can’t wait till it’s over. She never mentioned the hot flashes, weird on again, off again periods. She failed to tell me about the two week period BETWEEN periods as the hormones decide they REALLY want to screw with your life at the weirdest moments. She didn’t tell me about the bitchiness.

I swear my kids think I’m mental.

Yesterday I decided to go play on the XBox and the boys were being exceptionally annoying. My middle son was seriously on my nerves and I looked at him and said “I just want to let you know that I started my period today and you’re getting on my LAST nerve”

his response “Oh shit, sorry mom… Um… I’ll just go finish cleaning my room now” and he left.

Youngest smirked and turned to his computer “Guess today is gonna get REAL quiet around here huh”

They know. Their wives are going to be SO happy 😛

Usually I just say something like “bitch mode has been engaged” and everyone scatters. It’s like the parting of the red sea. That usually stops all the noise in the house. Even hubby makes himself scarce. It’s weird.

Today I’m in a better mental space but the tiredness is still here and my shoulder is spasming so I think I’m going to try to get some more sleep. Middle son just left to walk to the library, youngest is in bed, still asleep after going to bed at 4. Eldest is at therapy and hubby is on his computer. It’s quiet, almost 11 am and I’m sleepy.