My family is ready to commit me.
I’ve been so emotional, bitchy, weepy… My emotions are ALL over the place!
For instance, tonight. Husband is making something new for dinner and I’m organizing my jewelry making things. He is making filled quesadillas, filled with something that resembles vomit. I’m instantly annoyed. I’m a HUGE visual person when it comes to food. If it looks funny/weird/different/gross, I’m bothered. This looked down right NASTY.
I start grumping about it being soggy and gross. Then he serves me one that he’d made 10 minutes before. It’s got the consistency of road kill. Que meltdown. I’m sobbing and bitching at the same time. I threw the food…. Dogs had dinner. Next I’m laying in the bed sobbing gutwrenchingly. Youngest comes in and asks me why I’m crying so hard and I honestly can’t say why.
Then I’m hit with a hot flash that almost makes me pass out.
At least I know a reason I went full psycho on them.
I hate being a woman right now!
Good news: They survived.
Today is a melancholy day for me. Mothers day is hard for me for some reason. It’s 7 AM and already I’m crying.
Memories of the childrens births, their first steps, their first words… Everything comes back to me on this day. Every year is different. Most of the time the kids do nothing for Mothers Day, it’s just another day to them. Some years are sweet with home made posters and crafts, some years it’s fighting and arguing all day.
This year, thus far, my 16 year old is playing video games and when I ask what he’s doing today, I hear “celebrating Mothers day and chilling.” When I ask how he’s going to celebrate….. Nothing. He didn’t even hear me. I am, again, ignored in the middle of a conversation. I should be used to it by now….
My 13 year old is in the shower after coming in and hugging me the minute he found out I was awake. He wished me a happy Mothers day and informed me that he was hungry. Le Sigh.
Daughter is still asleep. Not expecting to even see her today. She’s taken to her bed again and I hear her crying frequently. I wish I could help her…. It breaks my heart to hear her sobbing in the dark.
I spent the last week moving mother into her own home. She now has her own place! Sixty five years she’s lived with someone and now is alone. I took a rocking chair to her house yesterday while she was out with my niece. Still haven’t heard if she likes it or not. I worry about her being alone but her place is on my way to work so I’ll check on her a few times a week. She’s supposed to come to dinner today. We’ll see. If nothing else, I’ll take her dinner and some cake that husband made for us for Mother’s day.