Why is it so hard to talk to new doctors?

Yesterday I went to my appointment with the orthopedic doctor. While he was asking about my medical history, he asked why I was on Medicare. I stumbled around, told him of the physical issues but that isn’t why I was initially given Social Security.

Why am I on disability?

I’m crazy. The short, easy answer.

The long answer…. I am mentally ill. I have PTSD, Asperger’s, Agoraphobia and severe Brontophobia. For four years I couldn’t leave the house without my Xanax and only then to go to the Drs. It’s only been in the past year that I’ve started going to the store alone.

It’s embarrassing. I wanted to tell him but it’s so hard to tell this to anyone. I seriously almost had a panic attack until I just closed my mouth and took deep breaths. He asked me if I had panic disorders and I kinda laughed “That obvious, is it?” He nodded with a smile “Yeah. It’s ok, you don’t have to say anything more” I’m SO glad he’s intuitive.

I am going to have to have surgery. Tentatively set for the 22nd. One appointment for preop then a week to wait before surgery. I won’t be able to use my shoulder for 6 weeks afterward, then 4 months of rehab.

All hubby can talk about is how expensive this is going to be…


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