Will it never end?

So, I’ve been having a little trouble with pain in my right shoulder for a couple of months. Been to the doc four times for it and had an MRI last month. This past week I went in and was told there is an 11mm by 10mm tear in my rotator cuff.  My doctor says it needs surgery.

I’ve been biding my time, waiting to tell my husband. I made an appointment with the ortho for the 9th and waited. Friday I went and got the report and CD from the imaging center and was looking at them when my husband got home from the store. He saw it and said “Don’t know why you’re looking at that, you don’t even know what you’re looking at” Yes, I do. I went to college for this but I didn’t say anything to him. I could tell by the tone in his voice that he was in a mood.

Yesterday, even though he’d been in a bad mood all day, I told him about the doctor’s appointment on Thursday and he went off saying I was faking it, he’d seen no indications of me being in pain and that I was full of shit. My youngest son completely lost it, screaming at him about how he wouldn’t know if I was on fire because he never pays attention to ANYONE anymore except when they screw up or don’t do things the way HE wants them done. His words were “you never pay attention to anyone unless you’re pissed off or they do something you don’t like, then you just yell at them or something more stupid. Why don’t you pull your head out of your ass and stop being a giant dick?”

I swear the silence was deafening as my 12 year old stood in front of his father, red faced and FURIOUS. I was holding my breath.

I expected him to hit my son, I honestly did but all he did was go into our room and shut the door. The look on his face was one I’d never seen before. I wonder if anything will change.

Today he’s subdued… for now. I hate these eggshells…


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