How one person can put up with the things I have to go through every day. It’s always something. It’s said that you never know what burdens or storms another person has even if they tell you. It sucks being so alone.
For three days I’ve been putting my “good face” on. You know, the one that says “I’m fine and the world couldn’t be better” while inside you’re screaming “HELP ME!!!!” It doesn’t do any good to scream… nobody’s listening anyway.
For three days, I’ve barely been able to move because of the pain. Three days I’ve gotten up, cooked and cleaned and tended the kids without help. Hubby has had a migraine for four days and hasn’t eaten in three days. He’s managed to take all MY migraine meds and now I have none except the ones I hid from him.
It’s the 15th of June and I honestly don’t think we will have enough food to make it through to the third. I’m down to eating once every two days just to make sure the kids have enough to eat. I’ll have to go to the food bank this week and do some volunteering to get extra food to make it. I can stand to go without a couple meals a day. I’m fat. The kids though… They need to eat. It’s a good thing I know how to cook from scratch. Even if they DON’T like having rice and gravy twice a week. I need to figure out what to do with the canned salmon we got from the food bank last week. The only thing I know is salmon cakes but we’re out of bread crumbs. I suppose I could make my own… We have a LOT of bread from the food bank. Seems that’s the majority of what they give.
This weekend is Fathers Day and the kids want to buy dad something. We don’t have any money so I told them we should MAKE him something. Youngest reminded me of the LAST time they made dad something…. It wasn’t pretty and the boys won’t do it again. They “don’t want the drama”. It might be better if we just make him a cake. I DO have the mixes and the 24th IS his birthday… Perhaps an early birthday party is in order 🙂