What to do?

My middle son… what to do to help him? His step father picks on him, has for years, but I don’t know what to do to stop it. It breaks my heart to see him cry like he did a few days ago. He doesn’t understand why the only father figure he’s ever known hates him so much. He doesn’t know why he gripes at him all the time, why he doesn’t understand him, why nothing he does is ever good enough…. and neither do I.

My husband isn’t physically violent, normally. The past two years have gotten bad though. He’s had physical altercations with my 15 year old son, his stepson. He’s put him in headlocks, slapped him, even stabbed a garbage can then said “Better it than him” When I called the police, they told my son that dad “has the right to discipline” him.

My son told me that he wishes his step father would die. He’s also said he wanted to kill him. I remember having those same feelings toward my father when I was younger than he. It hurts my heart to know that my loving, sweet son harbors such feelings toward my husband.

I wrote a blog post on another blog about my concerns that there is abuse happening in my home. My husband saw it. Unknown to me, he’d started following my blog and ….. well…. it wasn’t pretty. I see, more every day, that there is abuse happening. Subtle yet incessant. He controls with guilt trips and coercion, subtle threats in a tone of voice and snide remarks.

But what can I do? I can’t just leave. I’m on 24 hour oxygen and the youngest son has to have medical care 24/7.I’ve told my husband a few times to leave and he has threatened to but never does. He DID walk out, Christmas morning 2013 but came back 2 hours later, drunk.

I’m afraid, trapped and feeling like a complete failure right now. What am I supposed to do?


5 thoughts on “What to do?

    1. My mother has my niece, her son and husband living with her, my brothers are both homeless and I can’t send him to my father for the same reasons, abuse. He wants so desperately to leave at 16 that I’m seriously thinking about letting him, just to get him away from here.


      1. I left home at 15 years old and know how difficult it can be. All you can do is prepare him by teaching or passing on ‘Life Skills’ eg, cooking, cleaning, sewing, money management etc and give him all the support and love you can.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I left at 15, getting married and had a kid before my 1st wedding anniversary. Son has been homeschooled for three years now, learning life skills. He has dreams that he wants to be able to start fulfilling and I think he’d do well but… I’m mom…. I don’t want to let go lol.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. I believe we’re given battles in life than only we can over come. Whatever it is that you have to do, the strength is in you somewhere and when the time comes it will pull through. Give yourself some credit mamma 😉 be strong.


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